Uwahahaaaaawaaakaaakaa (this is craughing = crying + laughing)
I’ve made a BIG misteak. I mean mistake. Of visiting the boys in the middle of their tahfiz camp.
The ustaz called. Boys crying – wanted to see Umi (hey, that’s me!! hooray, they missed me!!!) Come on, I should be strong and persistent that my zuriat’s on a mission to ‘mantapkan penghayatan Al-Quran’. And as advised by other parents who have sent their kids at young age to study Quran locally and abroad, I should remain cool and let them be independent.
After all, only till Sunday..then we’d be together again. Happily ever after!
But that’s not how it happened.
I succumbed to emotion and persuaded Ridz (Abi) to come fetch them home. (oh, the devil in me wears Crocs tiruan)
So after Maghrib, the big hiace made its way across N9 and arrived in Melaka around 9 something.
We did not go to the madrasah straight away. We stopped to call the Ustaz. “Dah OK dah…”
Then the crime was committed…
Mistake 1: Talking to your son over the phone.
Upon hearing my sweet and melodious voice, Muhammad started to weep and sob. Suara bergetar.. “Umi..nak baalliiiikkk..sob sob..nak Umi..sob bob sponge bob”
Mistake 2: Actually visiting them.
After the phone call, we went up and met them. They ran out of the surau and hugged us. “Nak balik!”
Mistake 3: Having the intention to take them home.
Remember, innamal a’malu binniyat. I was almost sure of bringing them home. Ohhoo..almost.
After a loooong counseling session with the father, after much persuasion, after much reassurance..
We decided to leave them. NO GO, KIDDOS!!!
Their friend, Alif, was sobbing too. (initial plan nak angkut all three of them but Alif’s dad way stronger. Alif must stay. So how could Muhammad and Musa abandon his friend right? That was our justification – You two must stay because if you go Alif will be all alone. It’s not fair to leave him, right? Trio in mission, remember)
Ridz asked me: Are you ok with this (leaving the kids)?
Me: Sure (bukan dalam nada ceria gembira menang motor)
Ridz: Go inside the van now. (wah..like a warrior protecting the damsel in distress)
I hugged them. Muhammad was holding my body not wanting to let go. Musa was crying in his heart. Dada berombak-ombak, hidung kembang-kembang, mata berair. I kissed them, touched their heads and took Sarah and Maryam and Aisyah to the van.
Muhammad was screaming “NAK IKUT!!!!!!!!” The Ustaz had to hold him. Musa remained seated with tears in his eyes.
Subhanallah…my heart was heavy and light at the same time. Can’t explain…
In the van, while having Sarah on my lap, tears were pouring cats and mice.
Allah knows best. Got SMS from our friend, Hafiz – Alif’s dad – a doa.
“Rabbana yassir lana, wa la tu’assir ‘alaina, ya latheef. Ya muqallibal qulub. Thabbit quluubana ‘ala diinika”
p/s: Don’t visit your kids in the mid of separation. Trust Allah and…berdoalah!